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Drinking Jokes, Bar Puns, Bartender Humor
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up refreshing beer puns, alcohol humor, spirited laughter and funny bar
drink jokes.
Funny Bar Jokes, Drunken Puns, Cocktail Jokes
(Because Funny Drink Jokes
Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You're in a Dry
County or After Closing Time!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! Happy hour humor, cocktail jokes, drinking
puns and wry whiskey puns ahead.
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor and Brewed Puns
| 1 | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | 8
| Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Beer Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer
IS Better! | Bartender
Puns | 2 | 3
|
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Lovers Jokes | 2
| 3 | Women
Drinking Jokes | Manly Drinking Jokes
| Drunken Gnomes |
| Sports Bar Jokes | Animal
Walks Into the Bar | Space Bar Puns
| Scary Drinks | Holiday
Drinks |
Q.
What did the winning team say when they went to the brew
pub to celebrate?
A. Everybody, Group Chug!
Q.
How is a bottle of craft beer better than a woman?
A. Beer won't get mad if you come home with beer on your
breath!
Q.
Why is beer better than a woman?
A. Because beer likes when you joke about it on social media.
A
chicken crosses the road and walks into a bar. The bartender
says, "Sorry, we don't serve poultry here." The
chicken replies, "That's okay, I just want a drink."
|
A
novice bartender walks into a church, a temple, and a mosque.
He has no idea how bar jokes work!
Cocktail
Time Trivia: In Florida, they salt margaritas, not sidewalks!
A
parrot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I can't
serve you." Parrot asks, "Why not?" Bartender
replies, "Because I believe you are a Myna
bird."
Q.
Why does whiskey come in fifths?
A. 'Cause that's what you need when you're feeling two
tense.
Q.
What do you call drink after drink?
A. Chasers.
|
A
hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry,
we don't serve food here."
Q.
What is it called when a fun guy ties his belt
around a barroom seat and pulls it behind him?
A. A towed stool.
A
guy was browsing at the liquor store, so the clerk asked,
"Do you need help?" The guy replied, "Yes,
but I'm here to get whiskey instead."
Drunken
Fun Fact of the Day: Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary.
So I looked it up on Whiskeypedia and learned if
you drink too much, it's likely tequil-ya! |
Q.
What happens when a ghost drinks too much?
A. He gets sheet faced!
A
giraffe walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Do you want
a long neck?" Giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?"
Q.
What did the blonde say when some guy at the bar asked her
if she liked cocktails?
A. I don't know. Tell me one.
Beer
Lover's Point to Ponder: It's I before E – unless
it's Budweiser, caffeine, or codeine. Coincidence,
or not? |
An
anagramist walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why
the clean fog?"
Happy
Hour Fact of the Day: Chemically speaking, Alcohol is a
solution.
Q.
Why is alcohol a solvent?
A. Because it disolves marriages, families, and
careers.
Q.
How do you get a computer drunk?
A. With a screen shot of Tequila.
Q.
Which kind of beer do Star Trek fans prefer?
A. Dos Trekkies.
|
A
pig walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll
it be?" The pig replies, "A pint of Guinea's please."
Q.
What's the difference between pigs and men?
A. Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
An
atheist, a vegan, and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only
know because they told everyone within the first three minutes.
Q.
What is an author's choice alcoholic beverage when writing
the first version of a new piece?
A. Draft beer! |
Q.
What did the moonshiners do when they had their pictures
taken?
A. They stood still.
Two
guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducked.
When
the bartender asked the patron if he wanted his whiskey
without ice, the guy replied, "Sure, that would be
neat."
Two
guys were hanging at the bar. First guy says, "My wife
is just like whiskey." Second guy comments, "Oh,
she gets better with age?" "No," replies
the first guy, "She gives me a headache."
A
piece of sandpaper walks into a bar. The bartender asks,
"What'll it be?" Sandpaper replies, "Oh,
just something to take the edge off." |
Q.
How can you tell if you are a true wine enthusiast?
A. The more wine you sample, the more enthusiastic you get!
Q.
What did the blonde say after somebody told her to drink
Less wine?
A. Duh! I don't speak French, plus I can't find that brand
anywhere!
Q.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
A. By the blanc look on her face.
Q.
Why do women take baths to relax?
A. Because it's too hard to drink wine in the shower.
Did
you hear about the fellow who got a bottle of fine wine
for his mother-in-law? He thought that was a fair trade.
|
Customer:
Could I have my margarita with light ice?
Blonde Bartender: I'm sorry, all of our ice weighs the same.
A
grasshopper hops into a bar. Bartender says, "You're
quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named
after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got
a drink named Steve?"
Q.
Who wrote the whiskeyed-up book, Drunkards Of The Old
West?
A. Sal Oon.
Today's
Drunken Wisdom: What doesn't kill me, makes my drinks stronger.
Q.
What do you call the guy who drank vodka and ended up in
a mental hospital?
A. An Absolut madman. |
Schrodinger's
cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.
Bartender
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, how
do you keep that ice from melting when you are that hot?
Cocktail
Fact of the Day: Martinis are just like nipples. One isn't
enough, two is just right, and three is when things start
to get weird.
Bartender
Fact of the Day: Bartenders do it for tips!
Drinking
Tip of the Day: You should limit your alcohol consumption
to days that end in Y. |
Q.
What did the bartender say to the goat that walked into
the bar?
A. Sorry, we don't serve kids.
Q.
What did the bartender say when a second goat walked into
the bar?
A. Sorry Butt, the can is for customers, only!
Q.
Why do rabbits prefer IPA?
A. Because it's hoppy.
Q.
Why is beer better than a woman?
A. Because. BEER!
A
fish walks into a bar and orders a scotch and water, and
tells the bartender: "Hold the scotch, and bring it
in a large bowl."
|
Warning:
The consumption of alcohol may have you wondering what in
the hell happened to your bra.
A
guy walks into a bar. He says, "OUCH!" ... It
was a crowbar.
At
a cocktail party, one woman asked another, "Aren't
you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other woman replied, "Yes, because I married the
wrong man!"
Q.
How can you tell if an Amish person is an alcoholic?
A. They literally fall off the wagon. |
|
Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor and Brewed Puns
| 1 | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | 8
| Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Beer Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer
IS Better! | Bartender
Puns | 2 | 3
|
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2
| 3 | Ladies
Night Bar Jokes | Man Drinking Jokes,
Guy In a Bar LOLs |
| Sports Bar Jokes, Sport Drinking Puns
| Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze
Puns | Alchoholic Jokes |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes
| Space Bar Puns | Drunken
Holiday Grins | Drunken Gnomes
|
| Beverage Jokes | Soda
Funny Soft Drink Jokes | Coffee Puns,
Java Jokes, Espresso Humor | 2
|
| Waiter Jokes | Restaurant
Jokes | Pizza Puns | Burger
Jokes | Hot Dog Humor | Snack
Puns |
You're still thirsty
for grins, so cheers
even more spirited laughter,
humor on the rocks, and loaded
painful puns that are likely tequil-ya:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Astronaut Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Broncos Jokes |
Chef Puns | Colorado
Jokes | Criminal Puns | Hipster
Jokes |
| Light Bulb Jokes | Music
Jokes | Pickled Puns | Pirate
Jokes | Poker Jokes | Police
Jokes | Religion Jokes |
| Saturday Puns | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Weed
Jokes | Zombie Jokes |
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