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Cocktail
Jokes, Drink Humor, Bartender Puns
Say
Cheers with bombed beer puns, sloshed humor, woozy laughs and smashing
bar jokes.
Funny Bar Jokes, Drink Puns, Bartender Humor
(Because Stinko Puns and Zoned
Drinking Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You've
Been 86ed from the Bar!) |
Warning:
Proceed at Your Own Risk! Tippler jokes, alcoholic humor, boozer
laughs and groggy puns ahead.
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor and Brewed Puns
| 1 | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | 8
| Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Beer Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer
IS Better! | Bartender
Puns | 2 | 3
|
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Lovers Jokes | 2
| 3 | Women
Drinking Jokes | Manly Drinking Jokes
| Drunken Gnomes |
| Sports Bar Jokes | Animal
Walks Into the Bar | Space Bar Puns
| Scary Drinks | Holiday
Drinks |
Q.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
A. Chardon-neigh.
A
flock of birds walk walks into a bar, look around, then
head for the door. Bartender says, "Hey, what's the
matter?" One of the birds says, "This place looked
a whole lot seedier from the outside."
An
ox walks into a bar. Bartender remarks, "Oh, off the
wagon again?"
Q.
Why did the new Colorado craft brewer get so famous so fast?
A. He was lager than life. |
A
screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender remarks, "Hey
we have a drink named after you." The screwdriver replies,
"You have a drink named "Phillip?"
Q.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
A. Carbordeaux.
Attention:
Please be patient with the bartender. Even a toilet can
only serve one ass at a time.
A
lighter walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, I
can't serve you." Lighter asks, "Why not?"
Bartender replies, "You haven't even had one drink,
and you're already lit!
|
Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question. "Yes"
is the answer.
Trust
me, you can dance.
– Beer.
Warning:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends,
over and over again, how much you love them, man.
Bartender
Wisdom: The hardest part of the job is figuring out who
is drunk and who is just stupid.
True
Brew Pub Fact of the Day: IPA lot when I drink beer. |
24
hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think
not!
Some
bacteria walk into a bar. Bartender says, "We don't
serve germs here." The bacteria replied, "But,
we work here. We're Staph!"
Beer
cures your ale-ments!
Brew
Pub Laugh of the Night: The answer may not be at the bottom
of a craft beer bottle, but you should always check.
Clue
You're Drinking a Crude Craft Beer: Instead of a wagon pulled
by horses, your beer's ad features a wheelbarrow pushed
by a big hairy ape. |
Drinking
Point to Ponder: Is it beer thirty yet? Well, isn't it beer
thisty somewhere?
Q.
Why did the guy go to the brew pub to think before quitting
his job?
A. Because he needed to draft a letter of resignation...
Bar
Pointer of the Day: Are you cold and wet? Try holding your
beer upright.
Q.
Why did the outlaw walk into the bar with a paper towel
over his hair?
A. Because he had a Bounty on his head.
Q.
Why don't Coloradans drink Flat Tire beer when
they're partying on Saturday night?
A. Why tempt fate or dare the devil?
|
Ashes
to ashes, dust to dust. Life's a bitch and beer is a must!
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. A beer is always wet.
Life
is too short to drink cheap beer.
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. When you're through with one beer, the thought of another
doesn't make you sick.
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. You can fully enjoy a beer all month long.
Q.
What is the beer limit while watching Star Wars?
A. Only One Peroni. |
A light bulb walks into a bar, hands the bartender a dollar
and says, "I need some quarters for the meter."
Bartender replies, "Sorry, it takes three bartenders
to change a light bulb."
Q.
What do you get when you combine Blue Agave and literature?
A. Tequila Mockingbird.
An
angel walks into a bar hoping to meet someone heavenly.
Whiskey
Wisecrack of he Day: Redbull may give you wings, but whiskey
gives you balls. |
Beer
Lover's Trivia: The earliest known recipe in history is
for beer!
R2D2
walks into a bar and says, "!@#$%^&*()*&^%$#@!"
The bartender is a Trekkie, so he phasered him.
Warning:
The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance of the
space-time continuum that explains those gaps of time that
seem to disappear.
One
cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of
vodka by three hours, and a workday – eight hours.
|
Q.
Which kind of beer does a Canadian drink while using the
toilet?
A. I pee, eh.
My
body is not a temple ... It is a microbrewery with legs.
Did
you know that beer contains estrogen? When you drink too
much, you lose your ability to drive and you talk too much.
We're
guessing National Margarita Day is February 22 because you
need a reason to drink the week after Valentine's Day, one
way or the other. |
Q.
Can you drink Champagne for breakfast?
A. Wine not?
Some
people say laughter is the best medicine and others think
wine is the way to go. So, why not do both?
Yoga
Class? Whoa, I thought you said pour a glass...
Q.
What is the difference between a bottle of wine and a prostitute?
A. The older the bottle of wine, the more you have to pay
for it.
Q.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a
bottle of fine wine?
A. Things went pour-ably wrong. |
Q.
Why did the short blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
A. She heard the drinks were on the house!
Q.
Why did it take the blonde guy a whole week to topple his
heady beer?
A. 'Cause foam wasn't spilt in a day!
Spilling
a full beer is the adult equivalent of a child letting go
of a helium balloon.
Beer
Pong is a sport, right guys?
My
doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat
more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's
insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's
called a High Fluten Diet."
|
Alcohol
is never the answer, but it does make you forget the question.
Well,
it's ale in a day's work and that's ale well and good.
Beer
Troubleshooting: If you don't recognize anybody and don't
know what room you're in, you may have stumbled into the
wrong party. So, just see if they have free beer.
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. You can sample different beers and not feel guilty about
it.
Q.
What do frozen beer, burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have
in common?
A. Some guy forgot to take it out in time! |
|
Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor and Brewed Puns
| 1 | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | 8
| Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Beer Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer
IS Better! | Bartender
Puns | 2 | 3
|
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2
| 3 | Ladies
Night Bar Jokes | Man Drinking Jokes,
Guy In a Bar LOLs |
| Sports Bar Jokes, Sport Drinking Puns
| Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze
Puns | Alchoholic Jokes |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes
| Space Bar Puns | Drunken
Holiday Grins | Drunken Gnomes
|
| Beverage Jokes | Soda
Funny Soft Drink Jokes | Coffee Puns,
Java Jokes, Espresso Humor | 2
|
| Waiter Jokes | Restaurant
Jokes | Pizza Puns | Burger
Jokes | Hot Dog Humor | Snack
Puns |
Yo drunk! this far,
so here's one more round of
jokes, sober
laughs,
inebriation humor, and pour
painful puns that surly should be barred:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Astronaut Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Broncos Jokes |
Chef Puns | Colorado
Jokes | Criminal Puns | Hipster
Jokes |
| Light Bulb Jokes | Man's
Man Jokes | Music Jokes | Pickled
Puns | Pirate Jokes | Police
Jokes | Religion Jokes |
| Saturday Puns | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Weed
Jokes | Zombie Jokes |
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