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Drunk
Jokes, Funny Bar Puns, Drinking Humor
Toast
the town with potent cocktail puns, boozer humor, barfly laughs and good
stiff drink jokes.
Bartender Humor, Bar Jokes, Drinking Puns
('Cause Drunken Jokes, Lush
Humor, and Spirited Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream
at Friday Night Happy Hour!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Due Caution! Hangover humor, fermented jokes, lush
laughs and potent puns ahead.
| Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor and Brewed Puns
| 1 | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | 8
| Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Beer Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer
IS Better! | Bartender
Puns | 2 | 3
|
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Lovers Jokes | 2
| 3 | Women
Drinking Jokes | Manly Drinking Jokes
| Drunken Gnomes |
| Sports Bar Jokes | Animal
Walks Into the Bar | Space Bar Puns
| Scary Drinks | Holiday
Drinks |
Brew
Pub Fact of the Day: Men do make passes at girls
with empty glasses.
Today's
Beer Mantra: Just Brew It!
Q.
Why do blondes prefer sudsy beer puns?
A. Because they like good, clean humor.
I
like my water with barley and hops.
Q.
What's it called if you're stuck in a polar vortex without
any beer?
A. Cold sober.
Brewed
Poem of the Day: I love you more than beer, and I really
love beer. |
E-Flat
walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't
serve minors here!
A
piano walks into a bar after hours. Bartender says, "Who
gave you the keys?"
Here's
a toast to the nights we won't remember with friends we'll
never forget!
Q.
How can a Pabst drinker tell twelve beers is enough?
A. It'll feel like 1 2 many.
Drunken
Point to Ponder: If you're an alcoholic if you
drink too much vodka, then are you Fantastic if
you drink too much orange soda?
|
I drank so much that I'm donating my liver to science fiction.
I
plan to donate my liver to an alcoholic so I'll know it's
a match.
Drunken
Point to Ponder: If you're suffering through a hangover,
are you a recovering alcoholic?
Q.
What did the other blonde say when a guy at the bar asked
her if she liked cocktails?
A. I don't know. Show me one.
Q.
What do you call a deer that can't quit drinking?
A. An elk-o-holic. |
Never
look at your beer as half empty. Look at it as you're half
way to your next beer.
Q.
Which beer do the NY Rockettes and their fans prefer?
A. Heinie Can Can.
Money
can't buy happiness. Wrong! Yes it can, if it's used to
buy beer!
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. A beer doesn't get jealous if you grab another beer.
|
Mr.
Spock, a rabbit, and a corn stalk walk into a bar. Bartender
asks, "You guys want to hear a joke?" They replied,
"We're all ears."
The
last man on Earth walks into a bar and says, "Drink,
I'd like another bartender."
Drunken
Line of the Day: A hangover will only last a day, but the
memories we make tonight will last a lifetime.
Alcohol
should be served in Capri Sun pouches. When you can't get
the straw in the hole, you've had enough.
|
A
woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a Double
Entendre. So, he gives it to her.
Q.
What do you call a man with a pint of Labatt on his head?
A. A taxi. Clearly, he's had too much to drink and is being
a nuisance.
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. If a beer goes flat, you can just toss it.
Alcohol
not only expands blood vessels, but also communications.
|
Beer Truth of the Day: Good people drink good beer!
Q.
Which beer does Chewbacca enjoy when he's anywhere near
Wisconsin?
A. Milwookiee's Best!
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beer doesn't tell you to go mow the lawn.
Say
"beer can" with a British accent. I just taught
you how to say "bacon" with a Jamaican accent.
A
fish walks into a bar and orders a Scotch and water, and
tells the bartender: "Hold the Scotch, and bring it
in a large bowl."
Wise
Beer Words of the Day: If at first you don't succeed, try
a bottle opener 'cause it must not be a twist-off cap. |
I
only drink on two occasions: When it's my birthday, and
when it's not.
I
told myself that I should stop drinking, but I'm not about
to listen to a drunk that talks to himself.
Blonde:
Can domestic beer make you smarter?
Brunette: Well, it made Bud wiser.
Julius
Caesar walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a Martinus.
Bartender asks, "Do you mean Martini?" Caesar
replied, "No, If I wanted a double, I would have asked
for it."
Warning:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. However,
this joke only caused a pregnant pause...
|
Give
a man a beer and he wastes an hour. But, teach him how to
brew and he wastes a lifetime.
Wort
Joke of the Day: Save the Earth! It's the only planet with
beer!
Two
guys were fishing in a boat when one guy pulled a genie
in a bottle out of the lake. The grateful genie grants them
one wish. First guys says, "I wish this lake was full
of beer." Poof! It's beer. Second guy says, "You
idiot, now we have to pee in the boat!"
Q.
What do you call a magician who makes craft beer disappear?
A. Brew-Dini.
Q.
How do you know you've encountered a Redneck Jedi?
A. He uses his R-2 unit as a beer coaster. |
A
pro golfer walks into a bar wearing his cleats, with another
shoe hanging around his neck. Bartender asks, "Why
the extra shoe?" Golfer replies, "In case I get
a hole in one."
After
a round of golf, a guy goes to the club bar. A blonde sits
next to him and says, "I'm a hooker." Golfer replies,
"If you turn your hands on the shaft a bit more to
the left, you'll slightly slice."
Green
Cocktail Point to Ponder: Do leprechauns party at a mini
bar?
Q.
Why did the alcoholic keep switching between vodka and whiskey?
A. He was great at multi flasking. |
Q.
What makes ale pale?
A. Pee.
Beer,
because you can't drink bacon!
Q.
What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching
Monday Night Football?
A. The sofa doesn't keep asking for Bud Light!
Q.
How is a beer better than a woman?
A. You can have a beer in public.
An
infectious disease walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry,
we don't serve your type here." The disgusted germ
walks out muttering, "You are not a good host."
|
It's
Saturday! The toughest decision you need to make is bottle
or draft.
Beer:
The reason I wake up every afternoon.
Did
you hear about the amnesiac who walked into a bar? He asked
a blonde if he comes there often...
Q.
What did the sign on the brothel above the bar say?
A. Beat It! We're Closed.
Q.
What has happened since the dancer was killed at the stripper
bar?
A. Now the place is haunted by en-tities. |
|
Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor and Brewed Puns
| 1 | 2 |
3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | 8
| Bar Pick-Up Lines |
| Beer Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer
IS Better! | Bartender
Puns | 2 | 3
|
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2
| 3 | Ladies
Night Bar Jokes | Man Drinking Jokes,
Guy In a Bar LOLs |
| Sports Bar Jokes, Sport Drinking Puns
| Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze
Puns | Alchoholic Jokes |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes
| Space Bar Puns | Drunken
Holiday Grins | Drunken Gnomes
|
| Beverage Jokes | Soda
Funny Soft Drink Jokes | Coffee Puns,
Java Jokes, Espresso Humor | 2
|
| Waiter Jokes | Restaurant
Jokes | Pizza Puns | Burger
Jokes | Hot Dog Humor | Snack
Puns |
You're still standing, so here's
even more spirited laughter,
high humor,
loaded jokes and painless
painful puns to ease tomorrow's hangover:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Astronaut Jokes | Blonde
Jokes | Broncos Jokes |
Chef Puns | Colorado
Jokes | Criminal Puns | Hipster
Jokes |
| Light Bulb Jokes | Music
Jokes | Pickled Puns | Pirate
Jokes | Poker Jokes | Police
Jokes | Religion Jokes |
| Saturday Puns | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports
Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Weed
Jokes | Zombie Jokes |
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for stopping by and see you again soon!
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