|
Funny
Drinking Puns, Bar Jokes, Bartender Humor
Enjoy
libation laughs, mixologist humor, walks into a bar jokes, and
funny bar wench puns.
Bartender Jokes, Drinking Humor, Barman Puns
(Because Funny Bartender Jokes
Couldn't TOO Mainstream When Your Glass is Half
Empty Instead of Half Full!) |
Warning:
Proceed at Your Own Peril! Mixed up saloon humor, intoxicating bar
jokes, and mixologist puns ahead.
| Bartender Jokes | 2
| 3 | Beer
Jokes | Colorado Craft Beer Puns
| Beer IS Better Than...
|
| Cocktail Hour Jokes | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes | Ladies
Night Bar Jokes | Man Drinking Jokes
| Scary Drink Puns | Holiday
Drinks |
| Sports Bar Jokes | Animal
Walks Into a Bar Jokes | Sci-Fi Space
Bar Puns | Bar Pick-Up Lines
|
A
horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey."
Horse says, "Yes please. And can I get a beer with
that?"
Bag
of fertilizer walks into a bar. Bartender says, "You
can come in, but don't give me any sh*t."
Q.
What did the bartender say to the goat that walked into
the bar?
A. Sorry, we don't serve kids.
Q.
What did the bartender say when a second goat walked into
the bar?
A. Sorry Butt, the can is for customers, only!
|
A
shoe salesman, a pirate, and a clown jog into a bar. The
bartender says, "What? Is this some kind of a joke
about La Feet?"
A
blind peg-legged pirate walks into a restaurant bar, a stool,
a table. Bar wench says, "We can sea-t you
here."
A
bathroom scale walks into a bar. Bartender says, "I'll
be with you in a minute. Scale replies, "I can weight."
A
tongue walks into a bar and yells out, "I can lick
anyone here!"
|
Cow walks into a bar. Bartender asks what she'd like. Cow
says, "Moonshine."
Another
cow walks into the bar wearing priest's robes. Bartender
says, "Holy cow!"
A
bat flies into a bar and asks for another drink. Bartender
says, "There must be an echo in here."
Q.
What does a drunken walrus have in common with a woman at
a Tupperware party?
A. A tight seal. |
An
alien, an astronaut, and a comet walk into a bar. Bartender
says, "You're out of this world."
An
alien walks into a bar hoping to meet someone out of this
world...
Q.
What did the bartender say when an eel slid back
into the bar?
A. "Oh, you're here for more, eh?"
A
man walks into a Miami bar with an alligator and asks the
bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?" Bartender
says, "Sure." Man replies, "Great! Beer for
me and a lawyer for my friend here." |
A
cell phone walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "You're
just in time for last call."
A
book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please,
no stories!"
A
screwdriver walks into a bar. Bartender says, "We have
a drink named after you." Screwdriver replies, "You
have a drink named Stanley?"
An
SEO expert walks, moseys, rambles, strides, steps, rides,
runs, trots, into a bar...
Alcohol
Point to Ponder: Time is never wasted if you're wasted all
the time!
|
A
pile of trash walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey,
didn't I throw you out yesterday?"
A
fish walks into a bar and orders a Scotch and water, and
tells the bartender: "Hold the Scotch, and bring it
in a large bowl."
A
cookie walks into a bar, realizes that it's closing time,
and goes to pieces. Bartender laments, "Well, I guess
that's how the cookie crumbles."
The
problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks
behind.
– Humphrey Bogart. |
A chicken walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry,
we don't serve chickens here. Try the place across the road."
A
bull walks into a bar to have a snort.
Q.
What did the bartender say to the fish that walked into
the bar?
A. Shouldn't you be in school?
Tree
walks into a bar. Bartender says, "You better leave."
When the tree doesn't leaf, the barman says, "You
must take me for a sap!" Tree replies, "Stop
barking and pour me a logger!" |
A
Shetland pony walks into a bar, has a few drinks, and leaves
$10 on the bar. Bartender says, "Sorry pal, you're
short."
A
dachshund walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, pour
me a long one."
A
baby cow walks into a bar, but the bartender refuses to
serve him. Insulted, the cow says, "Fine, I'll drink
some udder place."
A
dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon.
He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin'
fer the man that shot my paw."
|
An
egg walks into a bar, looks around and sees it's empty.
Egg says to the bartender, "Looks like I beat everybody
this morning?" Bartender replies, "No, the chicken
came first."
A
guy stumbles into the airport bar and asks the bartender,
"Do you have any helicopter chips?" Bartender
replies, "No, we only have the plain ones."
A
guy walks into a bar with a small salamander on his shoulder.
Bartender asks, "What do you call that?" Guy replies,
"Oh I call him Tiny, because he's my newt."
|
A
pig walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll
it be?" The pig replies, "A pint of Guinea's please."
What's
the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into
men when they drink.
A
giraffe walked in to a bar. The bartender asked, "What's
with the long face?"
A
giraffe walks into a bar and announces: "High balls
on me!"
I
only drink on days that begin with T. Tuesday, Thursday,
Today, Tomorrow...
A
banana walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, bud,
you'll have to split." |
A
pro golfer walks into a bar wearing his cleats, with another
shoe hanging around his neck. Bartender asks, "Why
the extra shoe?" Golfer replies, "In case I get
a hole in one."
An
unruly soccer ball rolled into the bar. The bartender kicked
him out.
You're
not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
– Dean Martin.
Q.
What did the sign on the brothel above the bar say?
A. Beat It! We're Closed.
Did
you hear about the wall that went out to celebrate? It got
plastered after it painted the town.
|
A
head walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "What
do you have that's full-bodied?"
A
ghost walks into a brew pub. Beer-tender says, "Sorry,
we don't serve spirits here."
A
giraffe walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Do you want
a long neck?" Giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?"
A
weasel walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What
can I get you?" "Pop!" goes the weasel.
Q.
What did the over-enthusiastic party goer say to the host
at midnight?
A. Mind if I hang over at your place in the morning?
|
|
Bartender Puns | 2
| 3 | Beer
Jokes | 2 | 3
| 4 | Colorado
Craft Beer Jokes | Beer IS
Better! |
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Wine Jokes, Vino Puns | 2
| 3 | Ladies
Night Bar Jokes | Man Drinking Jokes,
Guy In a Bar LOLs |
| Cocktail Jokes | 2
| 3 | Spirited
Liquor Puns | Vodka Jokes | Wry
Whiskey Jokes | Drunk Puns |
| Sports Bar Jokes, Sport Drinking Puns
| Scary Cocktail Jokes, BOOze
Puns | Alchoholic Jokes |
| Animal Walks Into the Bar Jokes
| Space Bar Puns | Drunken
Holiday Grins | Drunken Gnomes
|
| Beverage Jokes | Soda
Funny Soft Drink Jokes | Coffee Puns,
Java Jokes, Espresso Humor | 2
|
| Waiter Jokes | Restaurant
Jokes | Pizza Puns | Burger
Jokes | Hot Dog Humor | Snack
Puns |
You're still standing, so here's
more liquored-up laughs, stinko
jokes,
high octane humor and medicinal
painful puns that actually do de-liver:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Bear Jokes | Blonde
Laughs | Broncos Jokes |
Colorado Jokes | Dr.
Who Puns | Golf Jokes | Grammar
Humor |
| Hipster Humor | Horse
Jokes | Manly Man Jokes | Music
Jokes | Pickled Puns | Pirate
Grins | Police Jokes |
| Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Skeleton Puns | Sports
Jokes | Superhero Puns | Time
Travel Puns | Weed LOLs |
Thanks
for stopping by and see you again soon!
Join
us on social media and please
feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
©2017-2021
Painfulpuns.com
All rights reserved. |
|
|